64. Graz II

Oct 02, 2015

This post covers the last month in Graz. It is a medley of another tourist stroll thru Graz and some other activities.

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Looking at these pictures of the old town of Graz, I do have to confess that it is a nice place, notwithstanding the fact that it has often such a provincial feel to it when I have been abroad.
Like, for example, the Franziskaner Square, named after the neighboring cloister and church.
And – I have to admit it – it is the first time I have been inside.

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This now is a hot spot: Sack Straße with Kastner & Öhler, the most renowned department store of Graz [like Harrods in London]. Farther down, the Palais Attems is one of the splendid old buildings of Graz [picture left and right]. It is pretty rundown and I know it well, because it holds the ticket office of Styriarte an excellent festival of old music.

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On the left in this row is a famous bakery. It doesn’t only boast this amazing front. They sell good stuff. When I was still in the organic wholesale business, I had the honor to supply them every week with organic margarine. And the coffee is excellent. The middle shows the Mehlplatz [Flour Square] and on the right is a building which houses the famous Glockenspiel [chimes] with archaic figures rotating at the top whenever the hour is striking.

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Here, left and right are old buildings bordering the main square of Graz and in the middle there is Färberplatz [Dyers Square] another prominent square. When I am contemplating these names I often wonder what it was like when these old professions were actually occupying these squares which inherited their names.

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And this is the end of Graz. Indian summer has arrived and colors are everywhere.[In German it’s actually called Altweibersommer which many people translate as “old woman’s summer”. This is, however, a misinterpretation. In the old days the term Weib didn't mean woman. Weiben were the spider webs which glisten in autumn mornings because of dew drops that have collected over night.]


A change of setting: - Before I started travelling in 2014, I have been a regular member of an informal group practicing NVC [nonviolent communication] in Graz. It is an open group, meeting every Monday from October to June except during the time of school holidays. Everybody is welcome, provided they have some basic knowledge in NVC, have at least a serious interest and/or are recommended by a regular. There is also a slight fee covering cost of room and beverages.
While travelling, I could attend only sporadically. But when I learned that – for the first time ever – there will be a little celebration after practicing at the fall opening session, I managed to attend. I am very fond of Irmgard and Hubert, the teachers, and I have ties of friendship to some of the other participants. Attendance varies between 5 and 15 people.

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There is plenty of information on NVC, both in print and the internet and I will outline here only a few of the basics.

Nonviolent Communication holds that most conflicts between individuals or groups arise from miscommunication about their human needs. It supposes that all human behavior stems from attempts to meet those needs. Needs are never in conflict. Rather, conflict arises when strategies for meeting needs clash. The focus lies on three aspects of communication: self-empathy (defined as a deep and compassionate awareness of one's own inner experience), empathy (understanding and sharing an emotion expressed by another), and honest self-expression (defined as expressing oneself authentically in a way that is likely to inspire compassion in others.
The practitioners are invited to choose a communication problem they have recently grappled with, to focus attention on the following four components and afterwards to evaluate and share what they have found in small groups:

  • Observation: the facts (what we are seeing, hearing, or touching) as distinct from our evaluation of meaning and significance.
  • Feelings: emotions or sensations, free of thought and story. These are to be distinguished from thoughts (e.g., "I feel I didn't get a fair deal") and from words colloquially used as feelings but which convey what we think we are (e.g., "inadequate"), how we think others are evaluating us (e.g., "unimportant"), or what we think others are doing to us (e.g., "misunderstood", "ignored"). Feelings are said to reflect whether we are experiencing our needs as met or unmet.
  • Needs: universal human needs, as distinct from particular strategies for meeting needs. It is posited that "Everything we do is in service of our needs.]
  • Request: request for a specific action, free of demand. Requests are distinguished from demands in that one is open to hearing a response of "no" without this triggering an attempt to force the matter.

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Today - after discussing our results and experiences - we are switching to the informal part[y]. There is food and drink and time too chat. The blond lady in the very center of the picture in the middle is Irmgard who started the whole thing. The lady in orange on the right hand picture is a dear friend and a professional story teller.

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A participant of the group whom I had not met before turned out to be a musician. He had prepared music to play for us and so we had a very nice chill out with Prosecco and Mendelssohn. It is an evening to remember.
My gain from the exposure to NVC is not only getting to know some very nice people. It is also a personal advance in the art of empathy and the challenge of suspending judgment.


A new change of setting: All the time during my stay in Graz I was busy finding a new place to stay in Greece for the coming winter. The place I had rented before was no longer available. I had some offers on the mainland of Greece but my mind was set on Paros. Finally, another opportunity arose. With the help of Roswitha and Christos in Graz and there family ties I am offered to take care of an old house in Marmara. It’s another part of the island but I am looking forward to this new chance.

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I will leave in the beginning of November and I can arrange with Gabi to be driven to the airport in Vienna which is a great help. So, I spend the last days of October with Gabi in Markt Harmannsdorf. Fall has unraveled its paint box in Eastern Styria and we enjoy it by taking some walks.

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Close by to where Gabi lives is Riegersburg, a very impressive castle-fortress which neither the Turks nor Napoleon could take or conquer. It is visible from miles around and dominates the panorama whenever one reaches the top of a hill.

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It is a chilly All Saint Day, but we do find a spot to enjoy the last rays of the evening sun and the spectacular scenery. For me it is the last “chance” for feeling really chilly for a while but I think I will handle that quite well.

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